Pushing Out Our Babies

I read a blog post today comparing book writing with child birthing and while it was metaphorically delicious and lovely to read, I’m over here like… yeahhhh, I’m ’bout to actually have a baby and it’s much scarier than a book launch.

I launched that book last month. It went out into the world and my hooha suffered no damage whatsoever in the process. I slept well that night and several nights afterward.

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Not so with real babies.

 

But I am prepping like it’s my job and I’m happy to report that every bag has been packed, every diaper-holder filled, every piece of laundry I can use in the next 6 months has been washed, folded, and put away. I am as ready as I could be for this baby.

But here’s the third biggest difference between baby-making and book-writing: I Can’t Start Until She’s Ready.

Whereas… if I were writing book, I’d already be elbow-deep.

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With Subtitles Like These, Who Needs Titles?

Post about Subtitles

How to use them and who does

I’m not gonna lie, my brand new baby novel is not super popular and hasn’t generated much more than friends and relatives sales. While I keep telling myself that I don’t write for money–I have TWO jobs, both of which issue paychecks–I’m still a little bummed that this labor of love ain’t gettin’ any from anywhence else than me.

So I’m reading, I’m researching, I’m checking out articles both helpful and not so much about ebook marketing, KDP marketing, tips and tricks and whatnots when I come across a whole separate genre of marketing articles about…. SUBTITLES!

AhPPARENTly, subtitles are the bees knees and you just can’t make honey without them. But the only subtitles I’ve ever noticed on a fiction book were, “A Novel” so I really thought all that subtitle nonsense didn’t apply to me.

I was wrong.

Subtitles of fiction books can be lots of things!

The Modern Prometheus

A Tale of Passion

The Misfortunes of Virtue

Electric Boogaloo! Wait… no, that was a movie subtitle. Still, as subtitles go, that’s a pretty memorable one.

With this shiny new information, first, I will ask all ya’ll: Do you subtitle your books? Something fancy or no? Do you think it’s helps readers find your book?

Second, I need to come up with some subtitles for my books!

The Homecoming Effect: A Tale of Smut and Love and Starting Over  

Like Two Opposite Things: She Kissed a Girl and Liked It

Lay Her Ghosts to Rest: Grassroots Ghost Removal for the Newly Self-Actualized

I mean… I would read them.

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Most of the Electric Boogaloo memes were super racist or political in a way that made no sense to me.

Those Fickle Writers

Aaaaand PIVOT! I’m writing something else.

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I like the teen angsty WIP I started last week but I’ve also got this food-obsessed, self-care, CEN* WIP started that might be easier to write because it’s more grown-up, real life, I JUST saw the chaotic result of educated, professional adults sharing a kitchenette type piece that speaks to me as a person who likes to complain about stuff fictionally. Seriously with the dirty mugs, people? And the OPEN containers of leftovers sitting on the window sil for the entire weekend? I just can’t with you people.

It has come to my attention–AGAIN–that I write for my own sanity, not for the pleasure of my readers and really, I need to be writing what I need to be working on in my own brain. Between being too pregnant to function physically in the ways I am accustomed to functioning (I have been benched by my OBGYN and cannot exercise in the ways that make me feel like life is enjoyable) and my inability to distinguish when I am hungry and when I am not so I’m bored and I eat regardless, this new WIP speaks to me. Much more so than some teenage throwback life lesson I should have learned at 16 but didn’t so I force the lesson on fictional characters instead.

My hashtag game tweets may be a bit disjointed for a while as I submit from two WIPS with wildly different themes.

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*Childhood Emotional Neglect, which I suspect MANY MANY people suffer from based on just the number of a-holes I’ve encountered this week. “Your parents didn’t love you, did they?” I scream out my car window as a motorcyclist swerves to a stop behind me, cursing ME out, because I stopped for a pedestrian in a crosswalk with blinky yellow lights anyone who was paying attention would have seen from a safe enough stopping distance.

Anyway, take the quiz to find out if you’re one of them! And then use your freaking blinker, jackhole**!

**Totally joking. CEN seems pretty legit and really could be at the root of much of the dysfunction of … most of the people I’ve ever encountered, actually.

Hot Off the Digital Press

Available for pre-order until August 11:

Lay Her Ghosts to Rest

 

This story is really about recognizing negative patterns and realizing how difficult it is to break them.

The main character, a spirit counselor in a pseudo-post-apocalyptic society with a ghost infestation, takes care of everyone but herself.

The message the story tries to convey is that radical self-care is one of the steps in creating a healthier society.

Plus… ghosts!

 

Neologenius!

My son said to me the other day, “Mom, whobody’s outside?”

“I don’t think there’s anybody outside, bud,” I said.

“Somebody out dare, Mom. Whobody is it?”

 

I know it’s part of the process to let kids discover words and then gently correct them when they mispronounce, no matter how cute they are. I reluctantly repeat the words “video” instead of “boodoo” and “computer” instead of “puku” but whobody? Whobody makes sense.

I propose we add “whobody” to the English lexicon and anyone who disagrees will be forced to watch a boodoo on my puku of my son adorably asking “Whobody’s dare?” over and over until ya’ll see the genuis of it.

 

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*not my child. 

 

P.S. Just a couple more days of fun summer lovin’ LGBT novel discounted to $.99 before my new workplace drama about ghosts and self-care launches. Buy some stuff, eh? I got another kid on the way.

Heal the Ghosts and Let Them Go

KDP says 72 hours so I assumed I’d be making this announcement in a couple of days, but here we are, Monday morning, and guess what?

This lady is ready to (pre) party:

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Available to preorder right now on Amazon

The official description is available both on the Amazon page and my Work page so why don’t I just lay it out for you here.

What this story is really about is recognizing negative patterns and realizing how difficult it is to break them. It is told from the perspective of a woman who cares deeply for others but can’t seem to give herself the same kind of care. The context is a pseudo post-apocalyptic institutionalized solution to restless spirits. The real world connection is radical self-care being one of the steps in creating a better community; creating a better community is one of the steps of having a healthy society. 

Plus, ghosts!

I’m excited about this one, friends. I put a lot of thought and feeling and personal musing and life lessons into this one so I’m eager to see what others think. As always, the protagonist is extremely not me, but she has suffered some of the same quandaries, some similar setbacks to personal enlightenment, and she also thinks wakes are the most disgustingly unnatural perversions of grief performance.

Preorder now. Read August 11. Review without being a turd, please.

And if it really wasn’t what you were looking for (*cough bigot who reviewed my last book*), then you go start writing what you want to read, sir or ma’am, because that’s the only real way to get the story you’re looking for.

I Like to Tell Stories

One of my toddler’s frequent declarations lately is, “So much fun take tings apart an put them togethah.”

“I’m glad you like your toys, bud,” I say as he yanks all the face parts off a potato head for the 15th time in a row.

But he’s got a point. When you find something you love to do, something that makes sense to you and provides you with a certain amount of satisfaction even in repetition, it is so! much! fun!

Mommy says, “So much fun, writing stories, ripping them apart, and then putting them back together.” Even when I complain about editing, it’s still part of an overall process I really enjoy.

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Although… I can say that now because I’m pretty much done.

Details to follow! A new book! About ghosts and self-care and workplace issues and feminism! Oooooohhhhh!

Gone Camping

It’s the graphs, you know it is. The question: why am I participating in Camp NaNoWriMo again if I’m editing and have trouble setting “goals” for non-writing activities.

GRAPHS.

I set my goal this July for one hundred and whatever pages, which is what my WIP comes out to be in non-formatted Google Doc text. But that would be just the one pass through and I’m not going to do just ONE pass at it! No sir. I already did one: the read-through to see if it makes any kind of sense. Next up: spelling and grammar check. Next after that: mapping the story to make DAMN SURE it makes sense (pass one was just a preliminary sense-making screening) and maybe during or maybe after, I also want to map the character arcs to see if they are good and satisfying.

That’s like, 2 1/2 more passes. So how do I mark that “goal” in Camp terms? Double the page count? Or double and a half? Or do I leave the goal as is and record only half the page numbers I’ve read through?

Oh, if it wasn’t for my love of graphs…

I’ll figure it out, I’m sure, but for now I’ve got an open document full of grammar errors and no more than 2 hours to see how much of it I can get through.

So far, I’m crap at Camping.

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What is the Frequency, Eda?

Social media is a distraction! she preached to a choir of like-minded individuals who rolled their eyes at the cliche. Ok, but really, though, she said because she had this plan for a blog post about writing characters with the traits of real-life people who annoy her both to humanize her characters and to gain some understanding and sympathy for the people who bug her. Instead, she got hung up on a weird comment/questions she read on Twitter in response to her last book’s promotion. What does it even MEAN? she asked herself, and is it even worth my time to consider, never mind respond?

I don’t know. What do you think?

In response to:

My… hairdresser? I don’t… get it. Am I being troll-baited or is this like a genuine (ly confusing) response to my amateur blurbing skills? Am I being challenged to step up my book marketing game or challenged to respond to a weirdo on the internet?

Because I like a challenge when it comes from someone I respect or at least from someone addressing me respectfully.

You know what might make for an interesting character trait? Someone who writes weird crap at strangers on the internet and what the hell their motivation is.

See how I brought it back around?

I Like… Graphs

Yeah, I know, I said no more Camping while pregnant back in April but maaan… I need to write some stuff. And Camp gives me structure. And graphs. I like graphs. I just took the CampNaNoWriMo survey for April and that was my one comment. “I like graphs.”

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I particularly like it when the graph looks like this.

And while I was there, YES I DID sign up for Camp in July. As with April, I’m a little fuzzy on what I would consider a win this time around. I am, after all, still pregnant–more so, in fact–and I did just move to a new house and I do still have a toddler and 2 jobs to contend with but knowing that I’ll also have a brand new child come November and between the old child and the new child and the 2 jobs, probably less time to write, the timing seems right, right?

Maybe I’ll write a short story. That seems doable.

Meanwhile, I’ve only edited the first 3 1/2 chapters of my last WIP. So there’s a project going places! Like to my beta reader with a comment approximating, “Not edited well, not even proofed at all, but I’d really like to know if anyone would possibly give a poop about this story. Here’s 3 chapters.”

Truth? The story seems interesting. The writing seems overly formal to begin with because I began narrating with the main character’s voice. I’m pretty sure I dropped that along the way. Hence the need to edit.

But, you know, whatever, because CAMP in July! There’s a new story to be told and I’m gonna go ahead and get to going about the business of figuring out what that might be!

(After I go to Target. Obviously. I have a new house to buy crap for.)