When You Give It Away, You Get Labeled

Hey, I’m finally in the category I want to be in! Thanks Amazon!

Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #92,536 Free in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Free in Kindle Store)

I consider most of what I write to be Women’s Fiction because my main characters are women and those women have STORIES that need to be told. But I get a lot of my sellers rank through other categories… like Occult which is not totally accurate. Horror is not at all accurate, unless we’re talking about the main character’s ex. He’s a little bit of a nightmare, I suppose.

Regardless, Lay Her Ghosts to Rest is getting some attention and all I have to do was, you know, give it away for free.

Get yours for free on Amazon today (and also tomorrow and the next day)!

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GiveItAway GiveItAway Now

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Time for a Promo!

Aug 29 through Sept 2, Lay Her Ghosts to Rest is Freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

I need some readers, you need an excuse to review a book you know you’re better than. It’s a match made in Kindle, really.

Download your copy of my paranormal, self-care, workplace drama, chicklit, speculative fiction book about a lady who talks to ghosts and then tell me how full of crap I am on the review form.

 

 

Everyone LOVES wakes and funerals, Eda. What are you even TALKING about? –Morticia McMacabre

 

I don’t understand the Bob Marley reference. –Heather Lynn Clearbottom

 

That ghost in the smart red suit sounds great. Let’s hear more about her. –Anonymous Female Politician

 

It’s wonderful, Sweetheart. I’m so proud of you! –My grandmother

 

Your turn. Whattaya got for me, reader?

I Can Troll My Own Self

Book promotions are the best! Where normally, my Amazon Best Seller Rank is up there in the millions, when I give these babies away for free, I get to see things like this:

Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #21,973 Free in Kindle Store

 

Does that mean tons of people are reading my book?! Noooo, not even a little bit. But some people are downloading it. Perhaps some of them are reading it. Maybe one of them might actually like it.

I can pretty much guarantee that the person who hates it leaves a review though. That seems to be how these things work.

81 star review By BigPartyPooper

Subject: Turd books I half-read but am somehow still qualified to comment on

This book deserves negative stars. It deserves black holes. Like 3 million of them. I like stories that are the same as the stories I’ve already read. I want the characters to be so incredibly original that they defy my expectations by doing exactly what I expect them to do. I also want them to think like I would and act like I would and it would be cool if all the chick characters were super hot and into me and all the male characters justified my bad behaviors while also having a smaller penis than me. Also, I’ve never written a book in my life, have no idea what goes into it or any respect for people who try, but I am an expert narrative critic and spellang chompian. Please engage me by disagreeing with me. Please. Somebody pleaaaaase engage me (I’m so lonely).

I should start writing book reviews. I’m like, REALLY good at it.

Anyway, my very first novel, The Homecoming Effect, is still free for the next few days on Amazon and actually, the one and only review I got on it is really positive! And… also written by someone I know who, by the way, is terrible at trolling and needs to worsify her spellang and grammerizing if she ever wants to be a real online book reviewer.

homecoming5.0 out of 5 stars
on March 14, 2016 

I adored this book! The characters are multifaceted and relatable, even when they are unlikable. A great choice for fans of dystopian fiction, with a fresh voice and vision. Buy and read this book, and you will be wishing for more from this author.

Keep This Gif Handy as You Read

Phase two of giving my lovely books away has begun!

The Homecoming Effect is freeeeeeeeeeee 7/27 through 7/31 on Amazon.

derek daniel

They could also be considered Before and After

Based on a dream I had one time where I sat on a park bench with Daniel Grayson from Revenge fretting and scheming how to take care of the children who weren’t really ours while the world fell apart around us, The Homecoming Effect is a pseudo post-apocalyptic, somewhat dystopian, found family story about a woman who does whatever she has to do to keep her brood safe. It’s fun and dirty and tragic and heart-warming and even though my unconscious dream Daniel looked like Josh Bowman, when I was writing it, he looked a lot more like Tyler Hoechlin (Teen Wolf’s Derek Hale) aaaaand you’re welcome for that mental image… think of him while you read this excerpt:

51aUpM62MIL._SX312_BO1,204,203,200_“There’s a condom in my back pocket,” he whispered, his lips grazing her ear as he spoke. His hands occupied themselves on the top buttons of her blouse. Her hands had been busy stroking the hair at the nape of his neck.

“Wait, what?” Bunny said, pulling back to look at him. Daniel pushed his lips against hers and the temptation to taste his tongue was too strong. She wasn’t going to lie to herself and pretend she wasn’t wanting the same thing, but this being their first kiss, pushed against the kitchen counter in her mother’s house during an unexpected mid-morning visit, she wasn’t sure she was quite ready to throw down that quickly.

His hands slid down her back and over her back side, squeezing then lifting to sit her on the counter. He leaned between her open legs, and she pulled him against her.

I should stop this, she thought, her mouth working against his. He’s… young and I’m…  and… there are so many things wrong with this, she thought, wrapping her legs around his waist. His hands traveled up her skirt by way of her knees, her thighs, resting at the crevice below her hips, his thumbs tracing the elastic line of her panties. But… isn’t he starting a job soon, she wondered, and I’ll… be busy with my son, she justified, and we’ll… probably never see each other after that so maybe…

She slipped a hand into his back pocket and there it was, the condom. Two, actually. Ambitious, she thought.

How did this even happen, she asked herself. Not 12 seconds ago, he was knocking on the kitchen door. Not 12 hours ago, he was crying on her shoulder.

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Have I mentioned how excited I am for the return of Derek on Teen Wolf Season 6b? No? Well, don’t get me started because I AM VERY EXCITED FOR THE RETURN OF DEREK ON TEEN WOLF.

The Homecoming Effect. In my head, that hot dude is Derek Hale. You’re welcome.

A Little Something on the Side

FREE THIS WEEK

(before the novel it’s based on becomes free NEXT week)

it’s A Flash of Effect!

 

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Four short stories that take you inside the world of the post-apocalyptic chick-lit novel The Homecoming Effect and the character of Bunny, a fast-talking, bull-slinging, fiercely loyal adoptive mother with a powerful Mama Bear instinct and the hots for her young neighbor.

Why should you read it? You mean other than that it’s free, fast, and full of some Strong Female Protagonist love? Because it’s all about those universal themes. Sex, love, children, religion, and government.

Go ‘head now, give it a read!

 

 

 

Excerpt from Safe Sleeping:

“Tell me, though. How did you land yourself some a handsome young thing? You ain’t no spring chicken, girly, but if that man ain’t hardly just a man, then I’m a gov’ment agent myself, come to take your children away.”

Bunny bristled despite herself.

“Oh no, no, don’t go gettin’ upset. I’m so far from bein’ gov’ment, I can’t even spell it proper. But I am a curious bystander here. How is it you’re not hopping on that joy ride in a shelter right now?”

Kat continued to ignore Thea as long as she wasn’t talking about her. For a woman who prayed on the rosary every few minutes, it was odd that she wouldn’t protest such a conversation. But as the belief that Bunny and Junior were legitimately married and biological parents of all three of their children was paramount to their survival, in city or township, she played along with whatever Thea threw at her.

“Oh darlin’, ain’t nothing I wouldn’t like better than to be a good wife to my husband,” she winked. “But three little mouths are enough to feed and rationing don’t cover family planning, if you know what I mean.”

“Rationing don’t cover much of anything a woman needs, does it?” she agreed. “Shame.” She shook her head. “My husband wasn’t hardly the stud that one is but I would take any opportunity I got to get under him again. Crazy or no, he was my man.”

Bunny’s eyes glossed over for just a moment as the sentiment hit her hard in the chest. She wished she could say the same. She wished things had been different after the war. But if they had been, her life wouldn’t necessarily have been better and three of the four boys she spent all her energy protecting would be out on their own and probably separated by now. No, she thought, there was no use dwelling on what could have been when what was here now was what she needed to focus on. She had gotten all the information she needed from the women and felt secure enough in their sleeping arrangements for the night that she could relax and maybe rest a bit with her family.

A Flash of Effect is free on Amazon 7/20 – 7/24. Look for The Homecoming Effect on Amazon, free next week!

Everything’s Coming Up Self-Promotion

Hold on to your hats, my honeys, because this month and next are all about self-promotion.

I’ve got some freebies comin’ atcha! I’ve got some discounts! And then… well, I got a brandy new book available for preorder (soonish) launching on August 11.

Oh yes, that story I’ve been working on since November’s NaNoWriMo? It’s just about done and I’m ready to release that little monkey into the world and see if she climbs.

Apologies to the people on Twitter who liked my tweet:

It’s still true. I don’t follow people and then DM them to buy my book when they follow back. I don’t tweet so much self-promotion that it’s hard to tell if I’m a person or not. And while I don’t always follow back, I do like and RT hashtag tweets I think are swell.

Despite the appearance of hypocrisy, however, I do tweet about my free and discounted and new books when the time comes because… that’s what Twitter is for. That’s what all those free book hashtags are for. I’m not harassing the #amwriting crowd, kids. I’m trying to reach a larger audience.

Still… sorry for saying I don’t appreciate spammers immediately before going into full-on BUY MY BOOKS mode. Sentiment is the same. I guarantee you’ll never ever get a direct message from me.

Coming up:

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A Flash of Effect free on Amazon.com 7/20 – 7/24

Short stories that happen between scenes of The Homecoming Effect and expand on the character of Bunny and the world she inhabits. If it was possible to write fanfic about your own work, that’s what this would be.

 

 

 

 

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The Homecoming Effect free on Amazon.com 7/27 – 7/31

What does one do when the world changes dramatically right in the middle of a steamy summer fling? Travel across state lines with your younger paramour and his school-aged brothers, lie about your marital status and claim the children as your own, and settle down in a religious community where only your deception keeps your found family safe?

Sure, why not?

 

 

ltot-book-coverLike Two Opposite Things $.99 on Amazon.com 8/1 – 8/8

Eda’s got a thing for summer flings, my friends, but this one goes waaaaay back to a campground in the mid-90s where our 15-year-old protagonist gets it all wrong in her head before facing the choice between a fantasy relationship full of big gestures and dramatic declarations or the safer alternative of friendship with feelings.

It’s teen 4-EVA love without the sparkly vampires or terminal cancer.

 

And my new book launches on 8/11. More on that to come …

My Stats So Low

Whoa! Check out the stats now!

 

Apparently, all you have to do is give it away and those stats go way down. Neat! Thanks to everyone who downloaded it!

Now what do I have to do to get ya’ll to review it?

 

Another Adorable Self-Promotion

ltot-book-coverWhile thoroughly in awe that I sold more copies of this book than I anticipated (one each to my best lady friends+ one to my husband who would never read it = 3), nevertheless, I love this book and want more people to read it.

So I’m doing my free promotion thing and giving this little darling away.

Starting Saturday 2/18 and ending Wednesday 2/22, Like Two Opposite Things is available FOR FREE on Amazon.com.

And friends, if you like it, for the love of algorithms, please give it a rating. Amazon loves that stuff.

What’s it all about, you ask? Well, I’ll tell ya:

Helia Desiderio–nicknamed “Hell-yeah” by her friends–is just a kiss-virgin baby dork embarrassed by her 15-year kiss-free streak and her free-wheeling, light-partying parents who spend their weekends misbehaving in a mid-90s family campground while she lets her best friend Heather take care of her. But Heather’s got a plan that’ll bring the campground kids together: a friendly game of Spin the Bottle where anyone can kiss anyone, boy or girl and anyone who has a problem with that can go jump in the lake. Things get complicated when the new girl arrives and Hell-yeah discovers that her clean-cut handsome jock crush object, Patrick, isn’t all that, the grungy smoker boy with the greasy hair isn’t as bad as he seems, and the new girl, Desiree, has more than friendly feelings that Hell-yeah might just be feeling herself.

It’s fluffy and adorable with just enough social conscience to make it worth your precious time. Give it a read, friends!

A Self-Published Gal Self-Promotin’

How about some quick, fun, and free entertainment this week?

 A Flash of Effect is free this week on Amazon!

From January 23 to January 27, I’m using my KDP promotion option to give my little nugget of a story away for free. Grab yours, give it a read and then, be a dear and leave a little review? I’ll take however many stars you’re willing to give, good folk. Because THAT is how Amazon works, ain’t it?

 

51aubuobgylA Flash of Effect: Inside the world of The Homecoming Effect in four short-short stories

From the author’s notes and character studies, these four flash fiction stories take you inside the world of the novel The Homecoming Effect and the character of Bunny whose motivations and backstory aren’t always as they appear. Each short story expands on the character’s inner workings, from her fierce–albeit sometimes misguided–Mama Bear instinct to her complicated relationship with “the truth”.

 

 

 

P.S. The Homecoming Effect is on sale starting next week. You could have both books for less than a cup o’ joe.

 

Flash Fiction for Free!

51aubuobgylShort on Time? Low on Money? Desperate for a fiction fix? Well, I have a solution for you!

New for Free Book Friday, download A Flash of Effect: Inside the world of The Homecoming Effect in four short-short stories for freeeeeeeee (9/16-9/20) from Amazon.com

Writing The Homecoming Effect was a long and painful process and when I’d lose steam or get lost, I found that writing a character sketch or a short story that fit between scenes would get me back on track.

Basically, it’s fan fiction of my own work. If that’s possible. Which… sure, why not?

Regardless, it’s a quick read and a nice little peek at the novel, if you haven’t read it, or a reminder of the good times if you have.

Regularly priced at $.99, it’s available for free for the next 5 days. Grab your copy now, read it whenever, and then, if you could be a dear, throw a star review at me so Amazon will take me seriously. It’s a book eat book world out there and mama needs some love.