Apologies to Tom

I took Tom’s beverage and there is no excuse, since his name is on the label on the side.

But in my defense, when I asked the woman behind the counter–she of hat brim pulled down over her eyes who mumbled something akin to “order ready” as she slid Tom’s beverage across the counter–“Is this mine? I didn’t hear–“, she nodded and walked away. The woman next in line was frothing behind me, human tailgate-style, and I didn’t want to cause a scene so I took the drink I thought was mine and went back to my car where I started to wonder why it tasted so much better than it should.

Oh, I realized once I pulled into my driveway, having finished off 2/3 of it. Whole milk. Whole milk, light ice for Tom. Whose drink I took. Because I trusted a eye-contactless nod rather than investigating just to avoid being a bother.

If it makes you feel any better, Tom, if it gives you some sense of justice or vengeance or karma working in your favor for once… I’m lactose intolerant.

Advertisements

Rip This Book to Pieces and Spit Your Opinions on My Shoes

It’s free… for the next couple days, anyway. Review the crap out of it and explain to me why it gets so little love compared to everything else I’ve ever written.

Lay_Her_Ghosts_to_Rest_Self_Care_and_Spirit_GuidesLay Her Ghosts to Rest, a women’s fiction novel recently discovered to also fit nicely into the Hen Lit category is a novel of self-discovery through professional ghost counseling and has the fewest free downloads of any of my books.

Are the ghosts turning you off? Because they’re thoughtful ghosts. Mostly harmless. Sometimes preachy. Some of them want to eat your face but most just need some compassion.

Is it the women’s fiction angle? Do you expect much talk of menstruation and hair care? Because there’s none of that.

Download it for free today, tomorrow, or the next day and rip it apart, if you want. I could use ANY feedback about this bad girl. Any at all.

Thanks, friends. I knew I could count on you.

A Hen’s Dogs CAN Bark After All

I’m a late adopter. I know this about myself. I won’t switch to new technology until it’s the norm (and the price is low). I don’t fall for fads because by the time it reaches me, it’s over and I don’t have to think about it.

And I’m not so much in the loop on emerging popular genres. I’m just now finding out that Hen Lit exists and I am deeeelighted.

Hen Lit is the super sassy older sister of chick lit and (in my estimation) it’s for women who can’t be bothered to shave above the knee unless there’s a really good reason for it. Women like me. Who just wants to get shit done in a timely manner. And then take a damn nap.

From HEN LIT: Millions of Boomers Are Waiting For It on fiftiness.com

Chick Lit may breathlessly describe a young women’s first adventure into adultery, her sense of guilt, joy, and whatever. Interesting to other young women in the same brood. A hen will have been there already. If she happens upon a man whom she desires, she will probably know what to do. She will do it without the histrionics, understanding there’s more to life than an orgasm. If a chick hates her boss, she’ll piss, screech, cackle, and finally stomp out of the roost. A hen will just waddle away quietly, exit the yard through a hole in the fence, having first left behind a ruthless peck or two of revenge. A Hen will start her own flock.

Also known as Matron Literature, it’s the opposite of the manuscript I’m currently writing and I’m … I’m this:

2cp0lm.jpg

Because I don’t care about first kisses right now. I don’t care about teenage identity crises. I don’t care that my main character is having issues with her parents.

Let’s just… put on some comfortable shoes and go save the damn world instead.

 

 

Image result for camp nanowrimo july 2018

 

Hmm… Oh hey, Camp NaNoWriMo. I think I’ve got a little something cookin’ for you. And it’s got some wrinkles and gray hairs. GET READY.

 

 

And by the way, I think I’ve already written some of this: Lay_Her_Ghosts_to_Rest_Self_Care_and_Spirit_Guides

Middle-aged woman who has no time for drama with love interests? CHECK!

Who focuses on her career and self-discovery? CHECK!

Walking away from a crappy situation and putting herself in charge? Spoiler alert: CHECK!

I mean, love scenes are fun to write but not when it’s all big emotions all the time. Sometimes, you just want your characters to think about stuff, figure it out, help you figure your own stuff out, and then keep on keeping on because that’s what grownups do.

That’s what I do. E’ryday. It’s not glamorous but it’s what I got. And I’m ok with that.

I think it’s time for another Amazon Book Promotion Event! Lay Her Ghosts to Rest needs to find its audience. Maybe there are a few hens out there looking for something good to read.

How about… FREE from June 22 to June 26? Yeah, let’s get that old girl read.

 

My Nightmares Are Real but not for me

I’ve written about this before and I’m sure I will again because “worst nightmares” tend not to be passing fads you mention once and then move on from.

Having to leave my children somewhere they can’t be comforted and not being able to get back to them is my biggest fear. In the deep recesses of my most hyperbolic mind, it’s because of the apocalypse but even when I dropped my son off on his second day of school and none of the teachers were available right that second to comfort him counts.

So this bullshit with the border? I can’t even. I can’t handle it. I cannot believe they’re just… shrugging their morally corrupt shoulders and calling it someone else’s fault.

baby child close up crying

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

The US Isn’t Just Separating Children From Their Parents. It Also Has No Plan To Reunite Them.

 

 

 

 

 

Old white church men are angry! I mean… if you get the old white church men angry on behalf on non-white people, you are doing something WRONG.

Anyway, here’s a link to a Stuff You Can Do article.

I can’t get to Target without a lot of difficulty so protesting is not an option for me but I’ve got enough crap from Target. I’ll donate some of that to help STOP MY NIGHTMARE from happening to other people.

The Heart is Also a … thing that does things

I haven’t been writing much and maybe that’s because I busted my butt in April to “win” Camp Nano or maybe it’s because I’m So. Super. Busy. and when I do get a spare moment of not working/parenting/sleeping, I just want to sit down for three seconds!

Either way, not writing time is prime definitely reading time, even if it means reading two paragraphs at a time on my phone while my infant is occupied with something that probably won’t result in catastrophe and my son has fallen down a YouTube hole full of toy unboxing videos.

That’s why it took me almost two months to read The Sun is Also a Star.

Related image

 

What I liked about it was the short chapters and switching perspectives. I also love when I learn stuff not related to character development in a fiction novel. I loved the unique (to me) perspectives of the characters and the exploration of the effect of parenting styles on the emotional needs of their children.

What I like most is that about 1/3 of the way through the book, I learned they were making a MOOOOVIE of it starring Riverdale’s Charles Melton and Grownish’s Yara Shahidi. I spent the last third of the book imaging them as the characters and it made my heart grow three sizes. Which is too big. Very uncomfortable inside my chest.

Image result for yara shahidi charles melton

My next book to read two or less paragraphs at a time is Freakonomics because I like to balance heart biggening with brain biggening because that’s… how balance works?

Related image

I mean, I started out with a big heart so…

The Most Common Parenting Strategy

First on my list of nonfiction books to write, when I eventually get around to writing nonfiction books, will be a parenting book called How to Raise a Strong-willed Girl Without Destroying Her Spirit.

It will be one page and the text on that page will look like this:

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Because hell if I know. I mean, mine’s still an infant and I can hardly handle it. I was chatting with a few friends this weekend about their teen and pre-teen strong-willed girls and apparently, it only gets harder from here.

The one thing we could all agree on was that being a strong-willed girl is exactly what will get our babies through the tough times and set them up for a lifetime of kicking some ass. But SWEET LORD, what do we do when they give you this look just for trying to change their diaper?

Related image

I’m PLAYING right now, MOTHER.