Hey ya’ll, I’ve got Episode 3 of my Kindle Vella story It’s Raining at the Cabin up now with weekly updates coming every Sunday until mid-Decemberish.
Check it Out:
The tiny wittle story continues…
It’s Raining, but only a little
I’m trying this Kindle Vella thing, friends. My brain only functions in short spurts so serialized fiction seems like a good way back to the land of the writing. I’ve started with a WIP from last spring that for various crazy-making reasons, I couldn’t finish and maybe it’s not a novel, anyway. And maybe it’s very close to real life. And maaaybe the surprise guest is some amalgamation of celebrity gentlemen I enjoy watching on Netflix and Disney+ featuring a certain Mandalorian pretty prominently.
Mostly it’s me trying to write again.
The first few episodes are free and right now there’s only one available and one draft available soon anyway.
Check it out here: https://www.amazon.com/kindle-vella/story/B09HSNP76Q
I Guess I’m Not Ready Yet
Ok, here we go. Dishes are done, laundry is drying and I’ve got one hour until I have to pick my kid up from school. Now’s the time, girl. Go get it. Chase your damn dreams! Write something beautiful and wonderful that inspires and amazes! Do it…. NOW!
*opens empty document and stares at the screen for 5 minutes*
I’m hungry. Maybe I’ll go have a snack instead.
I was going to start writing again but…
I decided to start writing again. Like, 20 minutes ago. Actually, I realized that the 2.25 hours that my daughter will be in Pre-K this fall didn’t quite allow for the working of a day job and if I was going to be home alone for those 2.25 hours, I could finally start writing again.
BUT WHY WAIT, right? Let’s start right now, the me from 20 minutes ago said. I sat down at the computer. I checked that both children were occupied* and I opened an old WIP that had some potential. Here we go, yo. I’m a WRITER again, yeah?!
No. I read a paragraph and a half before my son asked me for “fresh cold ice water” (in case you’re wondering about the PRIVILEGE up in here, it includes filtered water and ice straight from the freezer door). When I sat back down, my daughter called from another room that she wanted “more chippies!” I ignored that and opened up my wordpress blog instead to bitch about it but as soon as I started writing (see asterisk above to know exactly when) my daughter got off her butt, put her chip bowl on my mouse-hand elbow and said, “more chippies pleeeaaaaaaaaaase?” and refused to move until she got her goddamn chippies.
Now my son is reading Roblox dialogue out loud and my daughter is crunching chippies louder than I’ve ever heard a child eat.
So no, I will not be writing today.
For the 657th day in a row.
Because children kill your dreams. And eat your chippies.
NaNope, not in 2020
Honestly, I should just give up right now. My daughter is with her grandparents today which is supposed to make my day easier. But instead, my son is RAGE WRITING numbers in his flimsy-paged math book, ripping right through several pages at once.
The kids in my son’s virtual class keep interrupting LOUDLY or leaving their mics on while they sing to themselves. The teacher keeps yelling at them in Spanish and when they say, “I don’t understand you,” she just yells louder… in Spanish. I’m beginning to think that this “dual language” class is just the one language at various volumes.
So essentially, I am teaching my son Spanish so he can understand his Spanish teacher enough to learn the math skills he already has in English that he learned from the goddamn Numberblocks 8 months ago.
Why am I not getting my wordcount goals accomplished every day? Because life is fucking hell right now. It’s fucking hell. I can’t believe I even tried to do NaNo this year. There is no time in the day that I’m not already busy. Every second of every day is full of childcare and housework and virtual school and I still have a job I hardly have time to do for a business that is absolutely flailing. Sometimes I get to sleep, sometimes the kids have nightmares or I do and then I spend every day like a zombie just trying to remember what freaking day it is.
I can’t do this, ya’ll. I can’t write a book in a month that features virtual kindergarten, 0 childcare, failing business, money concerns, mental health issues on the part of both children and adults in my household, Christmas shopping, “holiday planning” (which means convincing family members to NOT plan anything dangerous), a contested election/possible Republican coup, and a deadly global goddamn pandemic.
I give up. On a lot of stuff. But most definitely on NaNoWriMo.
Writer Blocked
I’ve written not quite a thousand words today and it took HOURS not because I’m having writer’s block but because I’m getting Writer Blocked.
My kids have interrupted me ever 10 words or so. I’ve gotten up 4 times in the last 10 minutes to get more snacks for my daughter. My son is in virtual Kindergarten and I have to keep him from screaming at the screen when he gets frustrated.
And there’s so much freaking noise all the time from school and the TV and the kids and people are still mowing their lawns? Seriously? Once the first snow hits, I think you just let the grass be.
I can’t concentrate. I can’t write this damn blog post because I CAN’T CONCENTRATE.
And my WIP? It’s about a mom in the pandemic who goes fucking nutballs because she can’t fucking concentrate.
Writer’s Revenge
I don’t have the time or the patience to minx words: I fucking hate my son’s kindergarten teacher. She’s a condescending bitch who projects her disapproving admonitions into my house on a daily basis like she’s somehow the BOSS of me and gets to dictate MY parenting decisions from her suburban town into my urban household.
And you know what writers do to people they hate, right?
NaNo… go… I guess
Here’s my half-ass, half-hearted announcement that I’ll probably lose NaNoWriMo this year. So… there’s my content of the day.
How You Know You’re Raising Feminists
My daughter is of the age of princesses so asked to watch Cinderella this afternoon and promptly lost interest. A girl who flutters around her bedroom getting dressed by animals? Pfft. She likes her princesses kicking ass and taking names: Merida, Mulan, and yes, she prefers QUEEN Elsa because a queen is the leader and that’s what my girl wants to be.
My son, however, sat transfixed in his Spiderman costume watching the entire movie.
And because I’m also raising critical thinkers, my son and I always talk about what stories were about and what the lesson could be.
After watching Disney Cinderella, my son said, “That movie was about how it’s not fair to make one person do all the work in the house. It’s not fair. Other people should do some work too.”
BOOOOM! You’re WELCOME, society. Do you see the gift I give to you?!?
A few minutes later, he said, “Also, they talked a lot about dreams. People having wishes and dreams and having them come true.”
“What do you think Cinderella’s biggest wish or dream was?” I asked.
“Probably to not have to do all the cleaning anymore. She probably wanted to get away from her stepmother and have a better life.”
“And is marrying someone rich the only way to make that happen?”
“No way, ” he said. And we talked about hard work and problem-solving and not giving up when we really want something.
So. My work here is done.
…. for today, anyway.
Medicate Me
Heeeey, it’s been a month since I’ve posted and WordPress will not let me forget it. But lots have changed in the last month and I have been BUSY.
Raise your hand if you’re tethered to your kid’s virtual school with 0 time to do normal stuff like laundry and pooping instead of constantly being by their side, giving thumbs up to their teacher that YES you understand the instructions and YES you know how to get into the virtual library and YES, GODDAMNIT, you will make sure the child does the homework, thank you, can I please go to the bathroom now?
So no, I haven’t been writing.
What I HAVE been doing is taking anti-depressant medication and only for a few days so it’s not “in my system” enough to “make a difference” according to the experts but according to my experience, I haven’t had a virtual-school-inspired meltdown since Monday which was my first dose. Also, I am very sleepy and yeah, a little paranoid about the mild flu-like symptoms except that they started Monday, exactly two and a half hours after my first dose and happen at intervals throughout the day that have been clockwork all week.
So no, I don’t think I have covid.
I don’t exactly project my spit onto crowds of rabid followers while pretending science is fake news and a global pandemic is a hoax to make me look bad, so much as Stay Home and Wear a Mask so I haven’t been like SUPER worried about it. But I’m an overly cautious *coughparanoid* person, so it crosses my mind.
Another person whose opinion I value has started reading Like Two Opposite Things and likes it! So between that and feeling less like a crazy woman screaming “MUTE YOUR MICROPHONE, YOU JERK! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?!?!” I think I might be ready to resume working on Like Two of the Same, the sequel which… needs some serious editing, I know. But I’m of the “write everything/edit later” writing philosophy and it’s easier to cut that create so… stupid plot lines stay until my scissors say otherwise.
Eda J Vor 