Once Upon a Status Report

I could make a career out of Toxic Workplace Stories with source material to last me to infinity but no one would want to read it because most of us can say the exact same thing.

Do managers read those “What Makes People Hate Work: Their Managers” articles for tips and tricks in how to be horrible?

Secrets of a Hobby Novelist: Character Development

Today, my writer friends, I’d like to tell you some secrets about my characters:

1. They’re all me because I write them. I don’t understand why that’s not more obvious to people who ask authors, “Who are your characters based on?” Duh, it’s me and my perceptions about the people around me all mixed up in one of those little smoothie blenders so I can work out my issues through storytelling. Maybe there are writers who don’t think their characters are themselves but like… where do the characters come from if not your own brain? If they are based on someone else, it’s your perspective of that person. I think the only thing that would make this not true is if you have a co-writer or a very opinionated editor.
2. All of the villains are some version of my parents. Because I have issssssssues. According to my newest therapist, those issues are called Complex Trauma because of insidious emotional neglect throughout my childhood. So even when I base the villain/antagonist on an actual person I hate, I usually hate them because they’re delivering similarly messed up messages about who I am and how little worth I have intrinsically as a human regardless of my behavior.
3. Every single story I’ve ever written has been about me trying to work through some facet of my childhood trauma.
   • The Homecoming Effect: Issues of belonging, safety, knowing there’s a responsible adult looking out for your well-being
   • Like Two Opposite Things: Mixed messages and misunderstandings about sexuality, the neglect in giving children too much independence, belonging and knowing there’s a responsible adult looking after your well-being
   • Lay Her Ghosts to Rest: Being valued and understood for who you are, belonging, knowing there are responsible adults at your workplace looking after employees’ well-being
   • Fully Functioning: I mean, this whole story was about how I had postpartum depression and my entire family did absolutely nothing to help me
4. The reason I keep writing the same themes over and over again is because I’m not over any of it. I have just found a therapist who finally sees me and takes me seriously sooooo… guess who will probably make an appearance at some point as the mentor/savior character and/or the one responsible adult in the story who is taking care of things? Maybe I’ll name her Linda after the therapist in Lucifer who is my absolute fav character in that show. Sure, Lucifer is flashy and fun, Ella is a delight, and Charlotte had a pretty satisfying redemption story but Linda? She’s my gal. So, keep an eye out for Linda the Hero in some future book of mine. I’ll demand that Rachael Harris play her in the movie version.

What does it say when you have a favorite fantasy therapist? 

Hug-a-Book

Sometimes you just gotta hug the book you love and I’m happy to announce that we finally can!

Like Two Opposite Things is now available in paperback on Amazon.

Helia Desiderio–nicknamed “Hell-yeah” by her friends–is just a kiss-virgin baby dork embarrassed by her 15-year kiss-free streak and her free-wheeling, light-partying parents who spend their weekends misbehaving in a mid-90s family campground while she lets her best friend Heather take care of her. But Heather’s got a plan that’ll bring the campground kids together: a friendly game of Spin the Bottle where anyone can kiss anyone, boy or girl and anyone who has a problem with that can go jump in the lake. Things get complicated when the new girl arrives and Hell-yeah discovers that her clean-cut handsome jock crush object, Patrick, isn’t all that, the grungy smoker boy with the greasy hair isn’t as bad as he seems, and the new girl, Desiree, has more than friendly feelings that Hell-yeah might just be feeling herself.

 

FYI: I’m making excellent progress on the sequel!