It’s No Murder House, You Animals

Raise your hand if you’re a paranoid introvert!

8sebgr

Right, yes, me. I am a paranoid introvert. And what’s the worst thing that can happen to a paranoid introvert?

2577191

We’re having a… a…. oh God, we’re having an Open House this weekend because apparently, you can’t shut yourself in your home and still sell it to people sight unseen.

Now… I have been to tons of Open Houses and I have never looked through medicine cabinets or refrigerators. I open closet doors to see how big they are but ignore everything in them. I take off my shoes if I’m asked and I always ALWAYS respect the cat who lives there. But that’s me. That’s not everyone. That’s not the nightmare vision I have in my head of randos wandering my house in their muddiest boots looking through my personal effects and holding the door open so my cat escapes. I don’t have much in the way of stealable jewelry but I imagine it’ll be all gone. My worst enemies will show up and take pictures of my toenail fungal spray and backup underpants. My son’s favorite toys will be misplaced and the resulting meltdown will span ages. And someone, somehow will break my Keurig and make me cry.

I’m just hoping I’ve built up enough Open House karma that nothing bad happens while I’m gone.

Also, I’m sending in my in-laws to spy.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s